From the WILDERNESS of my SOLITUDE..
“If Everything around you seems dark, look again, you may be the light”Rumi (I cannot get enough of this quote)
Leaving the obscure times we live in the USA these days, I had this quote in mind when I landed in Medellin to get to a dental appointment to have an implant for a new molar. I felt it was worth trying so to continue to establish a base for my winters in Colombia. The climate, the eternal primavera, as described here, the eternal spring, was resonating for me with a wish to continue be curious and get a sense of eternal renewal. By the way, I was missing two molars, important teeth to get to chew well some delicious food. Worse they were both missing on the right side of my mouth. Apparently the result of grinding as if my teeth were expunging the overall stress caused by major disruptions around me, and inside me.
I was by myself, despite an attempt to invite a friend in the 2 bedroom apartment I was renting for 10 days. The guide I had been using to discover Medellin accepted to be there for me in case I needed help, after an hour surgery. I did not really. He was kind enough to help me buy a cold patch that I needed to apply for 10 mins every half hour in the following two days. Then I rested between my bedroom and the balcony in the middle of “villagey”Laureles. I ended up developing an annoying cold, blaming it on all the cold I needed to ingest outside and inside my mouth.
All kind of birds from green parrots to small vultures were checking if they could use the balcony for varied activities that needed me to clean up often, holding my cold patch against the bottom half of my mouth. and holding my broom using my free hand. Wilderness on my balcony, doing nothing, for a week, witnessed by these amazing birds I had not paid attention to before.
My friends in the pueblo of Jardin were all busy repairing the farm they owned in the Andes, and it was not possible to join them given my condition. Accepting the solitude in the middle of this vibrant city was all I could do.
I watched the entire Netflix series of 100 Years of Solitude, based on Gabriel Garcia Marques’s immense book that earned him the Nobel Prize of literature. Ah! Macundo and the dream of a free community able to self define itself and build a vibrant community, until the government and the church intervene. Then realizing that all efforts were in vain, and that intolerance, rejections, political ideologies and violence will ultimately prevail to the destruction of the dream that Ursula, the great grand mother, continued to carry util the end. It continued to entertain my solitude.
Being alone is useful, meditating, healing, drawing, writing, regaining a sense of gustative taste in the wonderful local restaurants that serves delicious soups, helped me cope with it.
On my last day there, I reconnected with a young immigrant from Venezuela who had waited on me in a restaurant a year before. He was coming back from visiting his family near the Colombian border. He was able to give me a glimpse of light, as he seemed full of life. He showed me pictures of his graduation as an accountant in his country, looking now for an equivalence in Colombia that would allow him to continue conquering his existence. I was a witness of his conquest and of the possibility offered to him as an immigrant. He was happy to share, I was happy to welcome his joy. I decided to help him apply for that equivalence so he could ride the wave he was on, and not get stopped.
So from the unexpected wilderness of my solitude, a dimed light appeared for me, and that was all I needed. A connection, a moment of sharing, a moment to remember that we have each other, as human beings. Bringing that dimmed light with me back to Queens was a blessing, to help me continue to spread my bit of light in the darkness.
So would you as well continue to be that light for somebody you barely know?
Hope to read you on the topic! Much love, Ed
